All of Us v. Hate: A Time to Come Together to Build a Stronger, More Equitable Legacy for Our Future Generations

March 22, 2021 4:55 PM
by Debbie Lee

For most of us, the past year has been hard. As an Asian American woman, the past two weeks has been something different. For me and millions of Asian Americans across the country, the horrific shootings in Atlanta that took the lives of eight, including six Asian women means something different. Xiaojie Tan, Daoyou Feng, Delaina Ashely Yaun, Soon Chung Park, Hyun Jung Grant, Suncha Kim, and Yong Ae Yue lost their lives because they were Asian and because they were women. My heart breaks for each of these women and for the loved ones they leave behind. Since the shootings, many Asian Americans have stepped forward to share their stories and speak out. No matter the age, background, or profession, our stories are largely the same because the experience of being Asian in America is largely the same.  

The Asian American culture is grounded in family and community-first. Many of our stories include immigration, building livelihoods, hard work, and a mentality that above all, personal sacrifice is necessary to make a better life for your family and future generations. Recent targeted attacks on elderly Asians has been particularly hard to comprehend because deeply engrained in our culture is a common respect and honor for our elders. A report by the Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism found that hate crimes against Asian Americans in 16 major U.S. cities rose by 149% from 2019 to 2020, a period when overall hate crimes dropped 7%. Many of these reported hate crimes targeted elderly Asian Americans. More than ever before, I worry about the safety of my elderly mother, for my own safety, and for the future safety of my children. 

My parents immigrated to this country, drawn to the idea that the U.S. is a melting pot of races and cultures. With this promise, they set their roots and worked hard to achieve the American dream of a better life for themselves and for our family. My siblings and I were taught that hard work, following the rules, and contributing to society would garner the acceptance of our friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Tragically, like most Asian Americans, throughout my life, I have experienced my share of bullying, disrespect, explicit and implicit bias. Asian Americans have been dubbed the “model minority” based on our silence when we are marginalized, skipped over, or ignored. I must admit that much of my identity is based on internalizing rejection based on the color of my skin or the shape of my eyes as an opportunity to try harder or be malleable to the expectations of others, regardless of whether it was fair or equitable. Even now, father’s words still ring in my ears, “you can’t control the thoughts and actions of other people, you can only control your own thoughts and actions.” This philosophy has helped me endure injustices throughout my life and has been the gentle explanation I have given to my children when they’ve experienced racial hate and prejudice at such a young age. Yet this is not the generational conversation I want for my children, grandchildren and beyond. When lives are lost and damaged due to targeted racial hate we cannot accept this reality as the norm. Together as a community, we must act to change and shape a future where all of us can feel safe and accepted.  

What can we do? While it will take time to learn, heal, and evolve, there are several immediate things that each of us can do to reject targeted hate and build a stronger, more equitable legacy for our future generations.  

Authored By

Debbie Lee
Chief Communications Officer